John and I are coming up on our 1 year mark. I knew that this would bother me, I just didn't know how much.
This month I talked to our social worker and this has been a record month for placements. When I looked on the website where they list the waiting families, I was shocked to see how many families were chosen. I was so happy at first because I know that some had been waiting alot longer than us, but then the sadness and dissappointment crept in. Now I don't even want to look back on the website! I just don't understand myself sometimes, why do I let this get to me?!?!
I knew from the get go that this was out of my control. It is so hard to just sit back and wait. What are these birthparents looking far? Is it something we said wrong in our letter, or maybe our pictures look bad to them?? I just want to know why not us?
I know that all I can do is just pray and that God will bring us our baby in his time. But when is that God?
My brain knows that our baby will be brought to us at just the right time, when it's meant to be. I just wish my brain would tell my heart that!
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.
Proverbs 16:9
1 comments:
I'm sorry you're having to wait so long. I know it's frustrating, even when you do know that it will happen in God's timing. Believe me, it will all be worth it when you hold your baby in your arms! Praying you will be matched very soon!
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